If you think you are having a bad day...

If you think you are having a bad day or you are just feeling down on your self for whatever reason. I have a cure for you. Do something for your community in an area where you believe they need the most help and do your part.

I facilitated a 3 hour review and learning session for 14 foster kids who are African American young men between the ages of 11 to 15. They have been brought together in a Rites of Passage program that started a few months prior to my arrival. The program emphasizes young men interacting with other men to develop positive life styles and positive solutions to life problems by recognizing their strengths, their talents and abilities under the guidance of well-trained and committed staff, community volunteers, experts from the community and a Council of Elders who have a strong commitment to their passage into manhood. 

The program focuses on assisting these young men in developing interpersonal skills, building positive and appropriate relationships, and visualizing and constructing positive self images. These young men will also learn the benefits of working collectively and develop the skills necessary to identify and access resources beneficial to themselves, their families and their communities.  Its is a very creative and unique approach to the infusion of the Afro-centric values called Nguzo Saba which in Swahili means the Seven Principles which will assist them in becoming constructive contributors to their community, through a positive appreciation of themselves and their culture.

Sounds great right? Well that is just a small snippet of what the organization I am working with is doing for these young men and their community as a whole. However let me tell you that my first day as a facilitator was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Without telling you just how bad my day was and how bad these young men were, I will let you use your imagination. Think of the kids in Lean on me, Stand and Deliver or Dangerous Minds and then make them real life individuals that have various behavioral and social issues that have not been given much of a say, let alone a chance to flourish until now. Now I would love to say that  by the end of the day I had prevailed like Morgan Freeman, Michelle Pfeifer and Edward James Olmos did in those movies but I did not. To be rather frank I called my girlfriend on the way home so she can share what I went through (OK my pain) and referred to them as "these terribly little bad boys"! Yes I may have used a few other words...

What did happen is that out of the 14 young men I determined that there were perhaps 4 or 5 that truly paid attention as best they could, actively participated and sincerely want to get something out of this experience. I could also tell that there are another 4 or 5 that seemed somewhat interested and if I can get things figured out and dial them in, it may prove worthwhile for them. This leaves the reaming 4 or 5 who were the most disruptive or simply not even remotely engaged at all. In that group I have assessed that I may be able to get through to maybe 1 or 2 of them if I'm lucky. Now on the surface for this group maybe that is what you would expect but for what at I am use to having for classes that I have facilitated before, this was simply not good enough. 

Initially as I closed the session and packed up my materials I felt I had failed the organization and those young men. I had gone in there with all of the training I have received over the years to deliver a flawless presentation with all of the confidence in the world. However I was not trained to deal with kids this age and with some of the burdens that they have had to carry. As it turns out I was invited to join them for dinner and as we were eating a couple of the young men came up to me and shook my hand and one apologized for how he behaved and wanted to thank me for coming to their facility and the other thanked me for coming, apologized for how some of his fellow participants had acted and asked if I was going to come back. In doing so one other young man over heard this conversation and chimed in saying "can you please come back we will be better next time". I was asked by the executive director at the end of dinner to come back and I told them I would come back which is this afternoon as a matter of fact.

I have to tell you by the time I got home I felt as though I had done a three day leadership boot camp and was physically and emotionally spent. Yet I found myself reflecting on those three young men that spoke with me and I realized the impact that I made on their day and the ripple effect it could make for them and their community if I continue working with them. This also lead to thinking about what it did for me and made me that much more grateful for all of the facets of my life. Needless to say I am more than ready to go back today and give them all I have. Its going to be a great week!